6 ways Texas ain’t Massachusetts

6.

  • In Mass, you run into commuters coming the wrong way up a road.
  • In Texas, you run into cows coming the wrong way up a road.

5.

  • In Mass, you see squirrels crossing the road.
  • In Texas, you see cowboys on horses crossing the highway.

 

4.

  • In Mass, people honk at you until they pass.
  • In Texas, we drive our pickups so good that we don’t never need to honk. But we’re more than happy to play chicken FOR FUN with the car in the other lane and scare the $#!7 outta you.

3.

  • In Mass, you ride up hills and chill down the descent.
  • In Texas, you ride into a MASSIVE headwind that slows you down, sorta like a climb… Except, you don’t get a view or a descent. Actually, you know what, NO. It’s not like a climb at all. You’re just going really @#*$ing slow.

2.

  • In Mass, it takes 2 hours to head out into the “wind” and 2 hours to get back away from the “wind.”
  • In Texas, it takes 2 hours to head out into the WIND and 45 minutes to get back away from the WIND.

1.

  • In Mass, you see snow and humans and stuff.
  • In Texas, this is all you see for hours. and hours. and hours. and hou…

8.5 weeks ’til the first race of the season at Rutgers.

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